boring drug

So yesterday I decided that once i’m done with this sack, i’m done period and will work on being sober. So I wrote up a vow for myself that after this bowl is done, i’m working on sobriety…and signed it and dated it. So I took whatever I had left in my sack, melted it down in my piece…and pretty much just got high all day. I wanted to be able to finish it before I went to bed but I was already flying and knew that it wouldn’t happen. So around 2:30 am, I finally went to bed. I had the worst nightmare ever and woke up around 7:30 am…so I went and got some water and something to eat, went back to bed and just sat there trying to forget about my dream so I could go back to sleep. I remember when I was sober for 9 days, I had horrible meth dreams the first few days and then around day 5, I was feeling pretty good and was sleeping and eating normally. But this last batch I got, it tastes weird and has given me the worst nightmares of my life, but i’d still get high…very high actually. But the drug is supposed to make you feel better, not do the opposite and make you terrified to ever sleep again. I noticed that I have no motivation, no ambition, no drive…I procrastinate a lot…before, I would get stuff done, have energy to do tons of stuff…now i’m tired, bored, and don’t get anything done. and the dreams are the worst part. so if i’m having effed up dreams when i’m high, what’s the point of getting high anymore? So now with my piece empty at 2:40 pm, which was the dumbest plan ever…now I get to come-down during the rest of the day…instead of just starting fresh in the morning, like i had planned yesterday…so I should have smoked all of it before i went to sleep…then i wouldn’t be in this piss poor mood.

 

“Drugs worked for me for years,” Staley told Rolling Stone in 1996, “and now they’re turning against me, now I’m walking through hell.”[32]                 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Layne_Staley

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